6/23/08

Honor Thy Mother and Father.... Then What?

Floating through Mother’s Day with 3 out of 4 (kids that is) being dutiful as far as Ma Bell would make available and Father’s Day where the funnier the card is the more appreciated, I started to ponder on the Honor your Mother and Father commandment. That would be, Moses’s Number 4 in the Judeo/Christian world and Number 5 for the R.C’s, for all you heathens out there. But I digress. Now to take this literally, I would have all the boys plus daughter fawning at my feet and washing them with their contrite salty tears but that is another Cecil B DeMille moment I try not to let my psychologist know about. But, to really look at that commandment is to dig deeper.

The word Honor according to Princeton’s Wordnet is as follows:

A tangible symbol signifying approval or distinction; "an award for honor and bravery" . That works for me. All Mother’s at some point or another should be awarded for bravery especially for those late night “Come pick me up from jail calls”. A woman's virtue or chastity. May not work considering the whole honor the parent thing means this is pretty much null and void. The quality of being honorable and having a good name. Hmmm since I change my name a little bit more than most, this might have a hard time catching up with me. Respect: show respect towards; "honor your parents!" Ah BINGO! That is what it is; respect.

Respect thy Mother and Father. Pretty straightforward right? Well there are mitigating circumstances that respecting your Mother and Father may be a little hard to do such as in the case of Mom or Pop is a serial killer, crack addict that abandoned you at two, or you were beat every day of your life. But, to offer simple, decent, respect is fairly easy to a parent that loves you and would like to be a part of your grown-up life. That meaning that you have actually grown-up.

I wasn’t the easiest person to get along with in my terrible teens then my tumultuous twenties, where it could have been textbook to blame my parents for the fact that I couldn’t make a solid decision to save my life. But I don’t blame them; I maintained my rights to screw up. So if you had a difficult life then sort it out and forgive. Easy, right? No, but the benefits outweigh the pain of forgiving.

Simple, decent respect means to call your parents on a regular basis, to stop dwelling on the negative, increase the positives in your life by having a relationship with your parents that at the very least is cordial. And a real important point is if you ask for advice; don’t be pissed off when they give it. Advice from a parent is usually well tried and there is experienced knowledge behind it. And you are never too old to be pulled back out of your whirling dervish self. That is just the parental love shining through.

So to tie this up there is a great verse from Ephesians 6:1-3 that states 1 Honor (esteem and value as precious) your father and your mother 2 this is the first commandment with a promise. 3 That all may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.

Hey check that out! You can have a long wonderful life if you respect your parents! The alternative of course is your choosing.


4 Comments:

dave said...

Honor indeed.. Funny how we often have to age some ourselves, and get the sharp rough edges knocked off before we can honor our parents.

I think it is nearly biologically impossible for teens or young adults to fufill this commandment.

It sure gets easier if you are a parent yourself, and you find yourself channeling your parents to your own spawn.

Perhaps a new two sided commandment is in order. - Forgive your parents as you hope your children will forgive you, and forgive your children as you hope your parents will forgive you.

Chooch said...

Love your take on forgiveness. For as Parents we may not make the same mistakes that our fore-fathers did but we manage to come up with some whoppers that need forgiving as well.

Anonymous said...

Well said, Chooch. I like Dave's point of view, too. trumpitter

John said...

I also like Dave's take on this. I honored my parents when I was young. After I got married and they nearly caused me to get a divorce I began to have a different take on the subject. I believe that I should respect them as people and love them as my parents. But to honor them seems to give them some higher position, or some authority. When I left the nest they lost their authority over me. After many problems I resolved to love them and respect the decisions they made reagrding their life. I learned to reject the decisions they made regarding my life. Now everything is wonderful. I say it is important to love and respect your parents, but honor will be something they have to earn.

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