11/9/07

Top Ten Personal Rants, Raves and General Bitchy Peeves

10. When I am bitchy or pissed off don’t say I am menopausal or PMSing. Only I can give you that description of myself on any given rant.

9. Taxis or Cars that honk their horn 5 cars back as if the person first in line gives a flying crap what you think. Do you know that in Hawaii you can get a ticket for honking your horn. They think it is rude!

8. Taxis or Cars that come within inches of you while you are in a legal crosswalk with the WALK sign. As if you can make me move faster with your insipid threat? Go on hit me, I will just walk slower and get richer if you are stupid enough to merely tap me with your bumper.

7. Women in grocery stores that turn shopping into a competitive sport. Who says you have to only go down the aisles in a certain pattern? If I forget something I am damm well turning around – get over it!

6. Websites, Search Engines and other Internettie sites that give downloading or supposedly simple cut and paste directions as if I am a mega techie. Sorry kids but my major was in Literature not gifs, tifs and the occasional spliff you are smoking when you write your lofty directions!

5. People on the train that feel it is important that you listen to every word they say in their oh so inspiring cell phone conversations. I do not need to know that you love your pookie oookims or that your client has not paid your bill. Believe it or not, Lawyers are the worst offenders! On the same note, Blue Tooth Ear Piece Wearers; pre-cell phones days talking to yourself was just weird. Now we think you look plain stupid.

4. Train Again… Families that think it is a REAL GOOD IDEA to take the rush hour train home on a Friday night with their squalling un-adorable children, take up rows, then wonder why the weary workers don’t share in their delight of their progeny.

3. Paying $4.54 for a cup of EightBucks coffee that tastes like hot bitter cardboard with flavored 2% - Enough said.

2. Friends or Family that insist on playing little control games to gain the non-existent upper hand. Done with it, back off, I'm moving on!

And the Numero Uno 2-Parter. Women that think it is funny to tell jokes that bash the beejeesus out of men so they can feel superior and Men that think the word "Ho" is a term of endearment.

Ooops! No Raves! I must be only Ranting!

6 Comments:

Anonymous said...

meee-f'ing oooowww!
Love it!
Frankly a little tired of the Men bashing myself. So men have had the upper hand for a long time - it's only because they figured out they had SOMETHING to do with child birth...prior to that humanity followed a matriarchy... birth was MAGIC! But it's not MY fault any more than slavery is/was MY fault.... and don't get me started on the portrayal of men in media.... but that's a rant for another time.

Jude's BlogLoggin said...

Okeey Dokeey! When you need to rant stop by again!

Elise said...

I love your little rant. We've all been in all of the situations, especially the family on the train during rush hour. What the hell is up with that?! Why on earth would you want to take your little snotty darlings on a crowded train and make people hate you? Ahhh!!

Jude's BlogLoggin said...

Elise WHY do they do that!!! I know it is a free country and they should do what they want but for God's Sake take the 2:40 train!!! Your little ones will less cranky when they get home and so will I!!

Eric A Hopp said...

Oh COME ON JUDE! Are you SURE your little rants are not due to PMS? ;)

I couldn't help it--they are too good to be true here. And the funny thing is that they are so true.

My own peeve would be all the NASCAR wanna-bees that we have here in Sunny California. You know them--they're the folks that speed 90 miles an hour down the freeway, where the speed limit is 65mph, while at the same time flipping across the lanes of traffic, cutting everyone off. They are so dangerous because they are at the edge of control for their cars--one mistake and CRASH!

Then again, we could probably create a top ten idiot driving peeves really quick.

Jude's BlogLoggin said...

Well Eric I can truly say that when I start to rant I am not PMSing. I am truly ranting!! As for L.A. driving, Holy God! When we were out there I thought we were going to die several times! Talk about needed a Xanax after that trip!! Whew!! How do you guys stand it!!

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