A Nation Of Fear - The Fear of Touch

Because of the cases of true perversed and scummy pedophiles running rampart, we are succeeding in creating a nation of fearful children. Don't touch them! Don't touch Me! There is a difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching.

In some cases, a hug from a friend is all some children can have because of a lack of love at home but because our schools are becoming overly sensitive to the child molestations by teachers and support staff, they now are OVERLY reacting to a simple hug between two kids. What do you think? Should the rules stay as they are or should they be amended to allow simple hugging.

See article below and let me know your thoughts

Girl gets detention for hugging The Associated Press, Tues., Nov. 6, 2007

Illinois middle school bans public displays of affection; parents urge change

MASCOUTAH, Ill. - Two hugs equals two days of detention for 13-year-old Megan Coulter.
The eighth-grader was punished for violating a school policy banning public displays of affection when she hugged two friends Friday.

“I feel it is crazy,” said Megan, who was to serve her second detention Tuesday after classes at Mascoutah Middle School. “I was just giving them a hug goodbye for the weekend,” she said.
Megan’s mother, Melissa Coulter, said the embraces weren’t even real hugs — just an arm around the shoulder and slight squeeze.

“It’s hilarious to the point of ridicule,” Coulter said. “I’m still dumbfounded that she’s having to do this.”

District Superintendent Sam McGowen said that he thinks the penalty is fair and that administrators in the school east of St. Louis were following policy in the student handbook.
It states: “Displays of affection should not occur on the school campus at any time. It is in poor taste, reflects poor judgment, and brings discredit to the school and to the persons involved.”
Parents urge change in policy Coulter said she and her husband told their daughter to go ahead and serve her detentions because the only other option was a day of suspension for each skipped detention.

“We don’t agree with it, but I certainly don’t want her to get in more trouble,” Coulter said.
The couple plan to attend the next school board meeting to ask board members to consider rewording the policy or be more specific in what is considered a display of affection.
“I’m just hoping the school board will open their eyes and just realize that maybe they shouldn’t be punishing us for hugs,” Megan said.


Anonymous said...

Yeah I guess public display is the key. Kids are having sex younger and younger and we don't really hear much about it but we will pass out condoms in High school. This is a crock. I hug everyone Women and Men, but I don't hand out prophylactics, does that make me a bad person?

Yani said...

What's next??? Kids can't wear Hennah because it shows your ethnic background?

Instead of that, maybe they should have a policy about the display of skin in schools - why don't they make policy against how short your skirt can be or how low your neckline should be?

I think that would display more social sense/resposibility than punishing someone for a kind, caring hug.

dave said...

I don’t agree with the rule but given the position the school district is in, what alternatives do they have?

You can be pretty sure the rule was not enacted as a knee jerk response to predators or pedophiles, more likely it is the way to combat hetero public displays of affection that can so prevalent at in middle schools. Sadly, as with most rules, it must be broken down to the lowest common denominator. So the rule said no PDA at all. This is not to protect the students; this is to protect the school district from accusations of discrimination if they ban only certain types of PDA’s.

Is it the schools fault that they must monitor the behavior of their students? Where are the parents who didn’t instill the values of appropriate or inappropriate PDA that certainly led to the creation of the rule?

But a simple rule - “no inappropriate PDA on school grounds” is too ambiguous in today’s litigious society. So they simply ban the behaviors in their entirety, and by making the handbook public, they have the rules and the authority to mete out punishment.

Don’t get me wrong – it is ludicrous that a teen can’t give their friend a hug, regardless of gender. It is also odd to me that under the rule as written, a child couldn’t get a hug from their parent while on school grounds – after a sporting event, a play or a band concert or even just a tough day!

You want to address the public’s fear of touching? What about fear of/villianization of men in general?


Jude's BlogLoggin said...

Bravo Bacon Dave!! There is a villianization of men in general and schools take that to the highest level. People forget there are female predators as well. That will be a subject of another blog of mine.

Here is the clincher - when a child complains to his/her friend, or an authority figure that Mr/Ms so and so touches them too much then Damm Right start investigating the hell out of it.

But when is inappropriate conduct as this school decided too restrictive?? Will it reduce any affection or congratulations to "high fives" only?

Growing up with the nuns, we had the 12 inch ruler that determined how close we were. Boyfriend/Girlfirends were told that hand in hand walking and hugs and kissing were not allowed but HUGS between a friend? Congratulatory slaps on the butt between athletes? These were not considered inappropriate? I am dismayed that because of the fear of lawsuits that the rules are so ambiguous.

Jude's BlogLoggin said...


Going back to uniforms for public school is not a bad idea and I agree that schools should be more equal in their focus of issues. I would like to know who and how they established their policy? What it directed towards couples or the whole student body?

Fee said...

That little girl needs to learn how to follow the rules. It is not a "suggestion" not to hug another student, it is a rule. If Megan doesn't like the rule, she should take the proper steps to change or amend the rule. She should not be allowed to break the rule, and then have a public outcry about her proper punishment for breaking the rule. It is kids like Megan, who grow up into adults who do whatever they please, becaues the rules are for everyone else but them.

Jude's BlogLoggin said...

But Fee don't you think that some of the rules out there are too "cover it all" types? Oh Yes I do agree that rules about making out and this type of behavior should be discouraged and definately at that age, but hugging a friend goodbye? I don't know, I feel that this is a bit harsh. Dave hit it on the head when he said it sadly needed to be broken down to a common demoninator and more clearly explained. And yes, where are the parents that allow their child to have a public PDA which most likely led to the strictness of this cover it all rule. On a bright note, the parents of this child did the right thing by telling her to serve the suspension. I am curious to see the outcome of this.

Jude's BlogLoggin said...

Oh and on a side note. I used to hate walking in on a make-out session when the boys were teens. It grossed me out because I DO believe that extreme PDAs should be kept private and not out there for all of us to share!

Fee said...

Jude - It is not about the behavior, it is about the rule. If there is a rule about no hugging, don't hug! If you don't like the rule, work within the system to change the rule. There is law here in the US that says we can't steal (God's rule as well). What if my child is hungry and I have no money, than it is OK to steal. NO. Go to the Food Bank, your local church, or Social Service. What if my husband beats me, than it is ok to kill him. NO. THOU SHALT NOT KILL. Not a suggestion. A commandment and a law. My whole point was that if "Megan" wants to hug her friends, work with the student government and the PTA and get the rule changed! Get an amendment to the rule enacated. Do not break the rule and think that you shouldn't be punished because the rule is stupid. What is even worse now, is that this child is being rewarded with all kinds of media attention. In a few years, Megan is going to be the girl that hits your car in a parking lot, and leave the scene "because there wasn't really any damage". She will be stealing from her employer, "because well they have alot".

Jude's BlogLoggin said...

You are right! Megan, if she does not like the rule then she needs to get involved with her student council to change or modify the rule. But then as with all grassroots projects she will have to stick within the boundaries of the new rule she chose to make and be happy with it. As for Parents, to be responsible they need to actually read the handbook the school sets forth and if they see something in it that irks them they need to actually show up at PTA meetings and become part of the solution not the problem.

Society is based on rules and regulations, without them there would be anarchy. Evolving as a society is to change or modify but you have to speak up to do that. Keep quiet until your kid gets in trouble ain't it. School is where we learn about society, rules and all. But what P.Os me off is that the only time I hear parents yell is when little Susie or Tommy gets in trouble.

Alex said...

I'm not a parent nor would I say I'd be a good one, but in my opinion I'd say this is out of line. Yes, kids are having sex earlier, but is that because of hugs? No its because of the constant reminder we get from magezines, television, internet, peers, and newspapers about relationships, sex, and the like. Touch is also necessary for a child to develop their sexuality. Research shows that the first experiences a baby has when its born confirms its sexual identity. This means that what the person looks for in a relationship is dependent on what it experiences in touch, sight, and the latter. It also depends upon what the person gains from his/her parents. In a sense weare still kids following our parents orders to the end in phycology.

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