What Are We Doing to Our Boys!

What are we doing to our boys!!! We are creating a nation of scared, confused non-men!! Our society is so scared of the dangers lurking in every corner that we helicopter over our sons so much that this new generation is becoming non-confident, scared to touch and generally very, very wimpy! I have shaken more hands with young men that were raised by helicopter parents that personally, I have a stronger handshake then they do and feel I could hurt them – ewww! And when did men start calling a colorfully decorated room or an inanimate object “fun”? We live in a world of hyper-carefulness! What are we creating?

I raised three sons, for most of the time alone as a single mom. They were adventurous and predominately terrorized me, but they are strong men now! I have come in contact with many boys in past few years and after spending time with them, I just shake my head. The new breed of boys are afraid of everything. They don’t venture out away from the nest for fear of meeting Mr. Stranger-Danger! They don’t climb trees for fear of falling. They don’t ride their bikes for fear of falling off. They don’t concoct their little battles blowing up toy battleships in the garden pool for fear that someone would think they are dangerous! And they sure don’t hug each other or put the arm of comrade around their friends for fear they are turning into a pervert. God!! What did we do????

Now, I don’t suggest that we toughen up our little guys to the point of bullyness and I don’t suggest you teach them how shoot an arrow into their brother’s epiglottis (true story, ask my son Steve) or capture their brother and hog tie him to the bed (ummm. Josh??) but I suggest that we wise up. When was the last time any of us saw a gaggle of 8 years olds playing a non-supervised game of pickup baseball! Probably rarely because most of the are playing video games and don’t know how to invent play.

And the most disturbing trend is that in today’s society, grown-ups, especially men are being suspected, villianized and discriminated against because we all think every man with a child is a predator. In a blog that I felt hit the nail on the head is http://baconsrebellion.blogspot.com/2007/09/fear-of-men.html In this blog, the writer accurately portrays how we see men in today’s society. We are losing our “good” and “decent” male role models to the knee-jerk reaction of fear. And in turn we are creating men that are afraid because as parents we are afraid. And that in turn creates scared, non-confident boys!

When I was a child and young girl, I KNEW the difference between a good man and a icky one. I knew how to trust at least to the point I was safe. The unfortunate part of my era was that belief in what a child said was not always taken very seriously. But in today’s society we can blend the knowledge of the difference between the Stranger Danger and a Good Man because we can learn to communicate with our child.

We need to counteract the effects of male bashing by reaffirming our sons masculinity, teaching them good morals and being honest about who is a good role model and who is a bad person. I was lucky enough to have as single Mom strong male role models for my sons. Sure, I thought about predators out in the big, bad world, but I taught my sons to know the difference between good touch and bad, between good men and bad and I feel they grew up just fine.

And I let a little danger in their lives. I have recently been giving as a present to new moms a book called ‘The Dangerous Book for Boys’ by Hal Iggulden. In this book it teaches us not only simple tasks like how to make the greatest airplane in the world but how to treat women with consideration and to know the difference between good and evil.

Realize that there are good men out in today’s society and we need these good strong male role models or we will continue to create fear.