Ad Me!

Why do advertising people seem to think they know all about me? Well I have a few replies for them.

Will the Victoria’s Secret Memory Bra remember where my boobs used to be?

Does having that not so fresh feeling mean I have an expiration date?

When you wish you were an Oscar Meyer weiner, does this mean you have identity issues?

When I get Gladd why does this stop me from getting mad?

Drinking coffee that is good to the last drop does not sound too appealing. Isn’t the last drop in your cup cold and full of grounds?

If you come alive with Pepsi, does this mean that Coke drinkers are dead?

When I hear Snap, Crackle, Pop it usually means that my knees are getting bad.

Hefty! Hefty! Hefty!" "Wimpy! Wimpy! Wimpy! Sounds like a bunch of bullies are in a pissing contest in my garbage can.

How do I spell relief? Sleep.

1800 COLLECT: Save a buck or two. Oh Great another cost that my sons inflict on me..

When someone says this Bud's For You, is it rude to say you don’t really like Bud and why do I have to take him?

Don't Leave Home Without It. Oh God, what did I forget now?

Just Do It. Oh shut-up! I will do it when I feel like doing it!

"I'm a Pepper, he's a Pepper, she's a Pepper, we're a Pepper, wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too Ummm??? Sounds very FLDS to me.

Beef - it's what's for dinner. Finally someone else is doing the cooking!