Middle Aged Woman

Middle Aged Woman

Bad Girl, Bad Girl,Whatcha Gonna Do?

Colleen Long, reporter for Associated Press stated in the March 15th paper that “The lawyer for the call girl linked to the downfall of Gov. Eliot Spitzer lashed out at the media on Friday for thrusting the 22-year-old woman into the "public glare" without her consent and publishing revealing photos.”

Okayeee… Since I am a mother of twenty-somethings, I feel the need to let little Kristen know that once you got the pictures out there honey you better be real prepared to live your life in the public microscope or just not have photos like that taken. And also sweetie, when you sign up to be a $1,000/hr call girl, figure in the factor that you just might be at the middle of an ugly sex scandal because the rich and powerful have equally as rich and powerful enemies.

My predictions for this girl? If she plays her hand of cards right, she could get a record deal (think Britney Spears with less clothes on) or a quick scandal tell-all but in her chosen line of business she better be equally prepared for the IRS man to come knocking on her door.

Political Tap Dance

Oh For God’s Sake! Here we go again! What is it with campaigns that near the end of the draw, we have nightmares coming out of the closet? Gary Hart, running for President in 1988, was considered the Democratic Party’s golden child until he was exposed in a bit of Monkey Busines with a bouncy little cutie named Donna Rice. Jack Ryan the 2004 godsend to the Republican Party who just liked sex clubs a bit too much. And who could forget Howard Dean’s hyenna primal scream heard around the world. And now Barack Obama’s own nightmare just popped out of the closet. His personal minister, the fiery bigoted and racist Reverend Jeremiah Wright has delivered to Obama’s campaign a nasty blow.

Rev Wright seems to not know when to apply the filter to his mouth and in one sermon proved that scandal isn’t necesarily nefarious but can come from the pulpit. Reports that Wright said ranged from “Hillary Clinton has an advantage over Barack because she is white” to “US is to blame for the AIDS virus” or "some argue that blacks should vote for Clinton because her husband was good to us. That’s not true! He did the same thing to us that he did to Monica Lewinsky" and instead of “God Bless America black people should be saying God Damm America”. Remind me how much I hate Politics heavily laded with religious opinion

Now of course, Obama denounced the minister’s sermons as inflammatory and appalling and the Obama campaign has reported that Wright has stepped down from serving on the African American Religious Leadership Committee but is this enough to stop the political tongues from wagging.

I think that the campaign has been smacked on the behind quite nastily. I am sure that the greasy palms of the other camps are just rubbing together with glee that this could quite possibly end Obama’s bid for the White House.

So who made the decision to drop this bombshell? And why is it that knowledge of scandal is timed for its bombing raid to occur at just that perfect 11th hour? I would love to get into the minds of campaign planners and see what kind of cerebral library they have stored in their brains. Its like a gray matter file cabinet of nasties that is opened at certain dates to pull out manila folders labeled Sex, Drugs, and Dubious Characters

To have a scandal raise its serpent-like head does push a candidate into a tap dance for his life. And it is not going to stop anytime soon. Makes me sick watching the one upmanship of Campaign Headquarters. I long for the day when the most damaging evidence was that you had a crazy drunk brother – remember Billy Carter anyone?

The final verdict is in. No matter how hard a candidate tries it is impossible to run a scandal, vicious attack and bullshit free campaign. Shows that playground bullies never quite go away, they just become meaner.

Celebrity Rehab - Wrong or Healing?

There has been much pooh-poohing surrounding VH1’s Celebrity Rehab. Many criticize Dr. David Drew Pinsky’s motives for doing a show such as this. Bloggers, recovering addicts and addiction specialists, feel that it sensationalizes the serious disease of addiction. William Moyers, the Executive Director of Hazeldon Recovery Center, states that Celebrity Rehab is “yet another example of the dumbing down and trivialization of a very serious and chronic illness that robs people of their dignity and respect”.

I consider myself a very compassionate and somewhat understanding person when it relates to addictions. I have many friends that suffer from this disease as well as a few close to me losing their lives, such as my ex-husband Daniel and best friend Bonnie, to this daily never-ending fight. And still, knowing some of the perils and gut-wrenching decisions addicts have to make daily in their lives, I did not understand completely and unequivocally this disease.

At first I admit watching that first show I was disgusted with the concept. People that have this disease that robs them of their lives should not be paraded like circus monkeys for our viewing entertainment. Then it hit me. I wanted to see what went on in a treatment facility. I wanted to hear what addicts had to say. I wanted to finally understand Daniel and Bonnie’s death. You see. Even though I was a first hand observer of what this disease does, I had run away from my own feelings of helplessness. I have spent so many years not fully understanding how this ugly memory of my past works. I am the typical bystander.

Several years ago, after my friend went into rehab, I was told that “I was really great at getting people into treatment but I was lousy at maintaining them”. Ouch! That really did hurt. But you see, I had no idea how treatment worked. Oh sure I had the ground floor understanding but I didn’t see past my own feelings of “Good you are in, now get better and don’t do it again.” I always felt that if the person really wanted to stop they would. Now this is very common feeling amongst the non-addicts but this feeling can also bring great pain to everyone involved.

I never saw what went on in treatment with Daniel. I went to the family meetings but swallowed too many bad tastes in my mouth to ever be really an effective supporter in Dan’s recovery. I didn’t see the disease Daniel had, just the horror it inflicted on me. The addiction counselors at the treatment center weren’t all that concerned at the time with the family, just the patient. Now I know that there have been huge steps in the way of treating the whole family not just the addict but in that era there was not much available with the exception of Al-anon for families. His own sponsor told me I was in the way of Daniel's recovery. So I was left to struggle with my anger and sadness on my own.

For years I thought Daniel had his private club. A place where I was not allowed and I felt so left out that I could not deal with my own feelings of despair. So I hid them. Hid my feelings away in a nice tidy and mangageable package. I did what was best for my kids and me and I left Dan. Why not! He had all his addict friends, I had the shame that he was an addict. For years I ate my anger for sustenance daily. What a confused mess that was.

Watching Celebrity Rehab, especially the episode where the family was present enlightened me. The wives were saying what I had always wanted to say. The addicts let me know what was in their brains and I really started to heal myself. I started to understand what people with this disease go through. It made sense. I got to see the process. To see how painful it was and to start to really care about these addicts. I felt the years of hurt dropping away and I started to finally understand for the first time in my life that addiction is a disease. It is a disease that robs everyone of their dignity; addict and non-addict alike.

So do I agree with the experts that shun this show as exploitative? For me? No. Because I am seeing what I should have seen years ago. I know now I can ask questions of the addict without feeling I am invading a secret territory. I can stop being angry and hurt and I can understand.

Finally