Honor Thy Mother and Father.... Then What?

Floating through Mother’s Day with 3 out of 4 (kids that is) being dutiful as far as Ma Bell would make available and Father’s Day where the funnier the card is the more appreciated, I started to ponder on the Honor your Mother and Father commandment. That would be, Moses’s Number 4 in the Judeo/Christian world and Number 5 for the R.C’s, for all you heathens out there. But I digress. Now to take this literally, I would have all the boys plus daughter fawning at my feet and washing them with their contrite salty tears but that is another Cecil B DeMille moment I try not to let my psychologist know about. But, to really look at that commandment is to dig deeper.

The word Honor according to Princeton’s Wordnet is as follows:

A tangible symbol signifying approval or distinction; "an award for honor and bravery" . That works for me. All Mother’s at some point or another should be awarded for bravery especially for those late night “Come pick me up from jail calls”. A woman's virtue or chastity. May not work considering the whole honor the parent thing means this is pretty much null and void. The quality of being honorable and having a good name. Hmmm since I change my name a little bit more than most, this might have a hard time catching up with me. Respect: show respect towards; "honor your parents!" Ah BINGO! That is what it is; respect.

Respect thy Mother and Father. Pretty straightforward right? Well there are mitigating circumstances that respecting your Mother and Father may be a little hard to do such as in the case of Mom or Pop is a serial killer, crack addict that abandoned you at two, or you were beat every day of your life. But, to offer simple, decent, respect is fairly easy to a parent that loves you and would like to be a part of your grown-up life. That meaning that you have actually grown-up.

I wasn’t the easiest person to get along with in my terrible teens then my tumultuous twenties, where it could have been textbook to blame my parents for the fact that I couldn’t make a solid decision to save my life. But I don’t blame them; I maintained my rights to screw up. So if you had a difficult life then sort it out and forgive. Easy, right? No, but the benefits outweigh the pain of forgiving.

Simple, decent respect means to call your parents on a regular basis, to stop dwelling on the negative, increase the positives in your life by having a relationship with your parents that at the very least is cordial. And a real important point is if you ask for advice; don’t be pissed off when they give it. Advice from a parent is usually well tried and there is experienced knowledge behind it. And you are never too old to be pulled back out of your whirling dervish self. That is just the parental love shining through.

So to tie this up there is a great verse from Ephesians 6:1-3 that states 1 Honor (esteem and value as precious) your father and your mother 2 this is the first commandment with a promise. 3 That all may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.

Hey check that out! You can have a long wonderful life if you respect your parents! The alternative of course is your choosing.

One More Day

The holiday season is in full swing and so are the heart-tugging Hallmark movies and Folgers coffee commercials that have me with my legs pulled up to my chest with arms wrapped around my knees and the tears streaming down my face.

Mitch Albom http://www.albom.com/ has a new novel out called One More Day and is the author of Tuesdays with Morrie and my favorite 5 People You Meet in Heaven. His novels can make you cry with every page you turn. So when you open one his books, make sure you have a supply of Kleenex at your side.

Which brings me to the thought of One More Day. What if we had one more day with someone who is now gone. Just one 24 hour period where we could say the things that we always wanted to say but never had the chance because this person we loved was taken suddenly or we felt that we had more time.

I have a few that I would like to share. And I hope that this post will inspire you to write about your own “One More Day”.

Bonnie my lovely best friend. If I had one more day with you I would apologize for being angry at you for continuing to want to ruin your life with cocaine. Even though I understand that you were dying of a blood disorder and felt a sense of "what the hell", I just wish I had answered your call. I would want to tell you that I loved you from the day I met you. You brought fun and joy into my life and I learned the true meaning of the word loyalty. I miss you every day and sometimes when something happens in my life that seems a bit on the stupid side, I swear I hear your laugh. I know you are watching me from wherever you are and the memory of you will always be with me.

Daniel, my vibrant, talented musicman. If I had one more day with you, I would have told you that if I had known that you were slipping out of our lives, I would have broken your door down that Tuesday and forced you to come with me to Dr. Ganger. Instead of thinking you were avoiding me, I would have banished that thought and I would have brought you to my home and taken care of you. I would have told you that even through all the pain and anger that I did love you and always wanted the best. And I would have fought harder for you. I would have ignored your anger at me and broken through your defenses and stood by you. I would apologize for not being tougher. But I would also say that your music always brought me joy. That I remember you anytime I hear the blues and I can close my eyes and see you today. That I believe you are in heaven playing your music and enjoying peace. If I had one more day with you, I would record one last song with you and harmonized our lives one last time. You were the most complicated man I ever knew and I will always have love in my heart for you.

Tell those in your life that you love them. Apologize for any wrong you have done. If you can't talk to them reflect that they once had a impact in your life, forgive and accept them for who they are because tomorrow you may find yourself asking for one more day.