Life Got In The Way

A undelivered Pampered Chef order languishes in my living room. A much anticipated theater project that has to be withdrawn from. Seeing cousins for the first time in thirty years. When did life get in the way?

I prided myself in the past of being able to multi-task with the best of the best but now I find myself more and more not being able to work that extra two hours or schedule multiple appointments. I find this new life distressing.

How did I let thirty years go by and not keep up with the close contact with my cousins that I dreamed I would do. At seventeen, leaning on my cousin Brian who helped me through a devastating event, I made the promises I was so sure to keep that I would never forget and always keep in touch. That we would remain best of friends. How empty that promise seems to me now. Gazing across the dinner table at Brian, I felt such deep sadness that I did not keep that promise. I regretted that I did not remain the “best of friends” with this amazing man. How shallow I must have appeared.

How do we as adults try to keep everything afloat in our lives when so many events, problems, and issues seem to keep us from the very things we enjoy the most. How could I have moved from crisis to crisis and find that the simple moments were brushed aside? Oh sure I can justify that I needed to spend the time as a mother to my boys who took up such amazing chunks of my life or that I needed time to find the real Chooch while stumbling across my own personal roadblocks.

But it all boils down to one statement. My life got in the way. Simple. Straightforward and somewhat self-absorbed as it is, the glaring truth is that we cast away our youthful promises on loftier pursuits. We need to make our money, establish our careers, raise our children to only toss them out on the world so that they too can experience the same wrapped up moments.

I didn’t expect when I had all my cousins around me that I would travel back to my seventeen year old days. I didn’t expect that it would seem just yesterday that I was sneaking that illicit Kools while pouring my heart and soul out. But now I know that I can’t afford to let my life get in the way. I must maintain contact of a more personal nature then just the occasional Christmas greeting or uninvolved email. I need my cousins. I need them in my life more than I ever would have imagined.

So even though I didn’t share my crazy youth, subdued thirties or my early discovering forties, I can go forth knowing that I have discovered a new set of friends in my cousins and that will enrich my life, which won’t get in the way.

One More Day

The holiday season is in full swing and so are the heart-tugging Hallmark movies and Folgers coffee commercials that have me with my legs pulled up to my chest with arms wrapped around my knees and the tears streaming down my face.

Mitch Albom http://www.albom.com/ has a new novel out called One More Day and is the author of Tuesdays with Morrie and my favorite 5 People You Meet in Heaven. His novels can make you cry with every page you turn. So when you open one his books, make sure you have a supply of Kleenex at your side.

Which brings me to the thought of One More Day. What if we had one more day with someone who is now gone. Just one 24 hour period where we could say the things that we always wanted to say but never had the chance because this person we loved was taken suddenly or we felt that we had more time.

I have a few that I would like to share. And I hope that this post will inspire you to write about your own “One More Day”.

Bonnie my lovely best friend. If I had one more day with you I would apologize for being angry at you for continuing to want to ruin your life with cocaine. Even though I understand that you were dying of a blood disorder and felt a sense of "what the hell", I just wish I had answered your call. I would want to tell you that I loved you from the day I met you. You brought fun and joy into my life and I learned the true meaning of the word loyalty. I miss you every day and sometimes when something happens in my life that seems a bit on the stupid side, I swear I hear your laugh. I know you are watching me from wherever you are and the memory of you will always be with me.

Daniel, my vibrant, talented musicman. If I had one more day with you, I would have told you that if I had known that you were slipping out of our lives, I would have broken your door down that Tuesday and forced you to come with me to Dr. Ganger. Instead of thinking you were avoiding me, I would have banished that thought and I would have brought you to my home and taken care of you. I would have told you that even through all the pain and anger that I did love you and always wanted the best. And I would have fought harder for you. I would have ignored your anger at me and broken through your defenses and stood by you. I would apologize for not being tougher. But I would also say that your music always brought me joy. That I remember you anytime I hear the blues and I can close my eyes and see you today. That I believe you are in heaven playing your music and enjoying peace. If I had one more day with you, I would record one last song with you and harmonized our lives one last time. You were the most complicated man I ever knew and I will always have love in my heart for you.

Tell those in your life that you love them. Apologize for any wrong you have done. If you can't talk to them reflect that they once had a impact in your life, forgive and accept them for who they are because tomorrow you may find yourself asking for one more day.